its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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