Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
