Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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