Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
