i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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