I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
