He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
