Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
