I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
