At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
