ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
