well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
