it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
