Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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