I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You're earring is so big in my mouth
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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