what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
