...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
