sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
