it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
