my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
