so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
