I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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