I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
