you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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