why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
