My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
