12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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