God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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