I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
