I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
