i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
