I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
