our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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