I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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