that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
