it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
