I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
