Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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