Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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