Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
