Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Even the bartender felt bad for me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Your cock deserves a montage
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
