now i know why i became what i already was.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
