Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His hands were made for my vagina.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
