Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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