I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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