so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
