All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
