I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
