i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
