im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
