First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
