She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
