when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
