I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
