no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
