It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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